This, in turn, could lead to depression as well. Studies show that a parents involvement in their childs education has an impact on their academic performance, more so even than the childs school. Effective parenting involves setting limits and teaching kids to deal with the consequences that result from their actions. For example, theyre straight out of high school prepas at university, they dont know anyone there, they never learned how to make friends because their parents did that for them and because theyre so anxious and accustomed to avoiding situations out of their comfort zones, they would rather self-isolate, never make friends and stay alone; which, of course, leads to or furthers their depression. This isnt to say that you shouldnt want to be liked or that you shouldnt want others approval, its when you depend on those things from others to feel happy or loved that it becomes unhealthy. Taking too much care of your children and protecting them from setbacks can be harmful. Long after all of the other parents have left, the mother sits at the back of the class anticipating any confusion or anxiety that her child may be experiencing, and perhaps even brings this to the attention of the teacher in case the teacher was not aware. Limiting the risk taking abilities Risk is defined as a situation involving exposure to danger. Too many constraints and a lack of autonomy will cause the children to react aggressively. Overprotective parenting can have major psychological consequences. In addition to Baumrinds study, Darling and Steinberg sought to distinguish between parenting styles and parenting practices with the parenting styles relating to the emotional context, and parenting practice to parents actions and behaviours. This lack of competence leads to feelings of low self-worth, lack of self-confidence, and increased dependency . ScienceDaily. They will also resort to sexual activities, drinking or drug abuse and other adrenaline rushing acti Continue Reading However, they fail to take into account the fact that the starting lines and training regiments were never the same. Therefore, while parents have tremendous potential to increase their childs academic success, they have equal potential to cause their academic failure. Secondly, over-protective parenting can lead to children developing negative emotionality. Click to learn more. Everything a parent says and does to their child, stays with them for their entire lives and affects them well after the parent has already died. Educational Psychology, Sixth Canadian Edition, 6/E (SFU). They become prisoners of your comfort zones and fail to relish anything else that the world offers. Those actions parents take and words they say under the guise of keeping their child safe, stay with them forever. As a parent, teach your child how to persevere against all odds. When your children reach adulthood, they may develop social anxiety, high stress levels, depression, and an inability to solve problems. Ways parents project their anxieties would be, for example, through excessive childproofing when theyre babies to approval of who their child can be friends with as teenagers, actions which lead to social anxiety as well. With the belief that they must keep their children safe, instead of teaching them how to avoid getting hurt or how to take care of themselves when they inevitably do, parents keep their kids in a little bubble; fostering dependence on the parent and a fear of independence on their kid. Overprotective parenting can have a negative effect on parent-child relationships, as children may feel resentful or suffocated by the constant protection. ScienceDaily. By asserting his dominance, the father is trying to protect his daughter from presumed risks associated with the other family, such as potential poor parenting practices (e.g. University of Warwick. Adulthood then perpetuates this train of thought further. They might be overly sensitive and react negatively to disapproval and criticism, they might second-guess themselves constantly and judge themselves harshly when they perceive something they said or did was wrong. She is also the author of the self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious". As such, it is essential that all children develop the necessary socioemotional skills to cope with lifes multitude of challenges. Moreover, overprotective parents do not allow their teens to develop bonds of friendship. But how is that so bad? some might ask, The child is protected! We want them to be happy and to be sheltered from the harsh realities of the world. This perfectionism and need for control contributes to problems within their relationships. Create an account to receive great content curated, personalised home page, and get support in parenting. Here are some side effects of overprotective parenting: 1. With a single click, you can sign up and save anything and everything youd like to read later. While children love to take up challenges, most give up in the face of adversity. As the child grows older or away from parents, they become very unhappy, withdrawn, confused, aggressive and involve in risk taking behaviors. This develops into a preoccupied attachment style as adults where theyre more focused on pursuing a romantic relationship because they never feel fully secure in the relationships they do form. Mother knows best after all. Social-emotional skills: The overprotected teen lacks confidence and has low self-esteem. Not until I read the research. The least you could do is be pleasant company for yourself on this rollercoaster of life. Upon arrival, the boy is disrespectful to his mother and the camp operators, and refuses to participate in the camp. Not then. Since, for the most part, they were sheltered and kept separated from reality, they never acquired the skills they needed. While parents have tremendous potential to increase their childs academic success, they have equal potential to cause their academic failure. Over-protective parents who are over-concerned about their children's health and safety do not allow their children's exposure to germs, thus not allowing their immune . Written For ParentCircle Website new design update. With the sleepover example, the father may consider his decision to be the lesser of two evils. They enjoy reading anything fiction, from fantasy to horror to fan made. Overprotective parenting undoubtedly has some quite devastating effects for the individual on multiple levels: emotional growth, the development of a healthy identity and Sense of Self, self-esteem, subsequent social interactions and relationships, and more, as we established today. Finally, over-protective parents negatively affect their childs academic performance by avoiding registering their children for any after-school education programs for fear of overloading their child. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120620103233.htm Such negative consequences are irreversible and will cause more harm than good. Because theyve learnt to avoid and not deal with new situations, they stay in their comfort zone even when its detrimental to them and their mental health. Baumrinds definition of authoritarian parenting is of a parent who loves their child, but exerts control over every aspect of the childs life. Cal Poly State University - San Luis Obispo, California State University - Los Angeles, University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill, California State University, Channel Islands, Jesus and Mary College, University of Delhi, Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising, Federal University Of Agriculture Abeokuta, University of Illinois - Urbana-Champaign, Interamerican University of Puerto Rico San German campus, Keiser University - Latin American Campus, London School of Economics and Political Science, California State University of Sacramento, Savannah College of Art and Design Atlanta, The University of Texas of the Permian Basin, University of North Carolina - Wilmington, University of South Florida - St. Petersburg, William Paterson University of New Jersey. Over-parenting through excessive control, supervision, and interference is an unhealthy way to raise your kids. The first step toward self-awareness is self-awareness. Academic achievement improved among students active in structured after-school programs. Their ultimate goal is to protect their child from harm. You are depriving them of the ability to make their own decisions, make mistakes, fail, and learn valuable lessons. As a result, the child becomes an easy target for bullies. But, in this endeavor, some of us go overboard and become overprotective parents, which does our children more harm than good. Reference: Therapist Joanna Pantazis blog 8 negative effects of overprotective parents.. While the majority of educators strive to help children reach their full potential by challenging them, parents often fail to realise that they have greater influence over their childs potential than schools do. ScienceDaily. As Professor Dieter Wolke of the University of Warwick indicates, parents cannot sit on the school bench with their children (University of Warwick, 2013); in other words, parents cannot be with their children at all times. As parents, we should instill in our children empathy, kindness, and compassion. ParentCircle is a magazine that empowers parents to raise successful and happy children. They may misinterpret your intentions and try to keep a safe distance from you. They will be college students with no friends, staying by themselves because they would rather be alone than talk to someone and be rejected. The last of these consequences Ill be mentioning is a difficulty with being authentic and honest towards, not only others, but themselves as well. , I couldn't have asked for more. Firstly, over-protective parents will increase the risk of their child failing academically. Why Parents Become Overprotective The intention of overprotective parenting is well-meaning. Through the fathers control over his daughters choices, he attempts to protect her from any potential risks. The same applies with academic camps during the spring and summer breaks. Over-reactive parenting linked to negative emotions and problem behavior in toddlers. These strategies might help, Questions Children Ask And How To Answer Them, 8 Ways To Teach Your Child To Respect Cultural Differences, Parenting Tips for Primary School Children, What Happens When Overprotected Children Grow Up, Do not give the child autonomy, keeping her under tight control, Make the child dependent by doing everything for her, Are always fearful that something unpleasant may happen to the child and transfer these fears to the child, Hold on to the child well into her adulthood to satisfy their own emotional needs, Are unable to think independently or make decisions on their own, Are reluctant to take up responsibility or own up failure. The opinions expressed in this article are the writers own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus. For every year that a parent prevents their child from attending academic camps during the long summer break, they will cause their child to suffer from increasingly lower academic competitiveness than peers that do attend such camps. Constantly seeking that validation and appreciation from others, while hiding their true self, leads to feeling unable to express themselves authentically for fear of losing those they love or rely on. - BY Crissy Jane In modern life, a growing degree of narcissism and social media fuelled paranoia have poisoned our mental health. Copyright 2014-2022 Mykids Ventures Private Limited. There are many reasons why parents become overprotective of their children, including: Fear of losing a child in a tragic accident or death; Fear that the world is a dangerous place; Fear that their children will be bullied or teased; Fear that their children will get into trouble; and Fear that their children will do something wrong or illegal. Try these 6 face yoga exercises to tone and sculpt your face, Not sure how long you can use anti-dandruff shampoo? What consequences do they, as adults, then have to face? Whatever its root, over-protective behavior can be difficult to see because it often looks a lot like loving parenting. Consequently, parents should consider the ironic fact that by over-protecting their children, they create greater risks of their child suffering from unhappiness, delinquency and learned helplessness. When we teach our children to live un-apologetically and authentically, we give them the tools they need to thrive in the world. Pre-schooler to 18+ 3 Mins Read 5.1K Views. When a child continually feels the excess need to succeed, this pressure can affect their self-esteem and overall temperament. Fearing failure, hurt, or rejection, they are reluctant to get out of their comfort zone to try something new. Join a community to interact with like-minded parents and share your thoughts on parenting, From Self-consciousness to Self-confidence, Share your thoughts, parenting tips, activity ideas and more, Share your thoughts, tips, activity ideas and more on parenting, A compilation of the most-read, liked and commented stories on parenting, We use cookies to allow us to better understand how the site is used. Theyll most likely have low self-esteem and self-worth. They will be teenagers who would rather say no to going to the movies with friends than ask their parents for permission and be rejected and given a speech about how dangerous being outside after five pm is. It will be difficult to regain their trust later on. This kills the inquisitiveness in children and they end up being nervous, dependent adults who can neither question, nor explore. Movies To Watch With Your Child, this Christmas! The most valuable help extended in the most simple way. Studies have shown that after-school education programs lead not only to higher academic grades, but also to a greater sense of self-efficacy. Its many conflicting emotions but you do whats best for you because, at the end of the day, youre with yourself all the time. While it is normal for parents to be concerned about their children, we must understand that there exists a fine line that differentiates protection from overprotection. Overprotective parents children lack decision-making skills and are unable to live independently. Did you know that an overprotected child suffers from low confidence and self-esteem as an adult? ScienceDaily. Think of Mother Gothel from Disneys Tangled and how she treats Rapunzel in an overly controlling and overprotective way. self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious". Overprotective parents end up making . Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120620103233.htm The influence a parent has on the mind and development of the child theyre raising is truly incomparable. In other words, the mother protects her child from a situation that all other children at the camp have likely faced. Also, parents who suffer from anxiety illness are prone to reflect overparenting. However, some major effects of overprotection are discussed here: . Educational Psychology Review, 17(2), 125146. Pre-schooler to 18+ 6 Mins Read 18.7K Views. Sadly, these children are also prone to anxiety and depression as they grow up. Children raised by such parents will grow up to be anti-social and unable to interact with others. Parents may feel overly protective of their kids and want to control every aspect of their lives, fearing dangers such as drugs, alcohol, violence in schools, teenage pregnancies and pedophiles. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130425214005.htm As children, they became used to their parents need for perfection being tied to how much affection they received. COVID-19 is spreading havoc globally. Defining over-protective parenting from the perspective of emotional context is more challenging aspect, because it is difficult to separate parenting styles from parenting practices. 4 Ways to Help your Child Learn about Cultural Diversity, How to Have Meaningful Conversations With Your Child. (2012). Regardless, over-protective parenting, in whatever form, has multiple negative consequences to a childs academic and socioemotional potential, including lower academic performance than peers, weak goal completion abilities, unhealthy socioemotional traits, and reduced life chances. While he is depriving his daughter of fun and playtime with her friend by not allowing her to sleepover at the friends house, he is protecting her from the risk of sexual abuse. But its consequences from preventing interactions with other peers to. Therefore, parents who protect their children from the healthy challenges and developed habits of goal completion are jeopardizing their childs life chances. In both situations, it is arguable that it is better to be over-protective than negligent. Overprotective parents fall into a fairly broad category of parenting; some may be driven by fear of injury while others may worry their kids won't be successful without their constant attention. The Real Cost of Sexual Assault: When Your Rape Costs More Than Your Rape. Continously checking up on them 9. As such, if parents protect their children from experiencing challenges, failure, risks, or negative emotions, their children will be less likely to reach higher academic levels. Subsequently, numerous problems may appear in the future, such as self-doubt, apathy, or falling into bad associations, as well as psychological effects, such as suppression of the personality, anxiety disorders, and troubles with communication. Only a few display the trait of perseverance. Instead of navigating hardships and solving problems on their own, these children become dependent on their parents. Lack of Self-Confidence Darling and Steinberg define parenting practices as constructs [that] include parental involvement; parental monitoring; and parental goals, values, and aspirations (cited in Spera, 2005, p. 127). Our site uses cookies to make your experience on this site even better. Interestingly, teaching a child to have the socioemotional strength to persevere and complete task also reduces the risk of delinquency, thus highlighting how interconnected socioemotional causes and effects can be. Youre worthy of love for simply existing, with no strings attached. Below are the most common consequences of getting too involved in your childs life by being over-obsessive and over-protective parents you actually are . We understand by now that overprotective parents value dependency over autonomy. Aside from academic performance, over-protective parenting can negatively affect children socio-emotionally. A post shared by Sarah Andersen (@sarahandersencomics). They'll most likely have low self-esteem and self-worth. I didnt fully understand the scope of the effect my parents had had on me. Children will unconsciously believe that they are incompetent and will feel unmotivated to achieve difficult goals. Shunning away from emotional closeness. Make it a point to teach your children about acceptance on a regular basis. We support parents through the journey of Pregnancy & Parenthood with our insightful and well curated content. Maturity comes from being able to decide things, take the leap and even failing. Then, in relationships (platonic or romantic), they resort to being pushovers and people-pleasers, to putting others needs above their own for fear of being alone or rejected. - He is only being made handicapped by his parent's overprotective attitude. Believe me when I say it will help. We are not our parents and you are your own person deserving of love, appreciation and respect. Gracias, Amrita. Beingtheparent.com , you guys Rock !!! How will a child develop academic proficiency or the necessary higher-order thinking skills to make sensible decision if parents shield their children from academic challenges or extra-curricular opportunities? Aggressive behaviour toward parents. He believes that he is incapable of being independent and standing up for himself. Agreed that most parents have faith in their child's ability to cope with age-appropriate challenges. You Create Too Many "Safe Zones". Since they were probably instilled from a young age that no one is good enough or trust-worthy and they can only trust themselves, and sometimes not even themselves but only their parents, they find it difficult to relent their control and connect with other people. As children who have been under constant vigilance and pressure from their parents their whole lives, once they become teenagers or adults and are presented with the freedom and personal autonomy that comes with becoming their own person, they either are 1. excessively reserved, timid and averse to risk or 2. they will go through a rebellious phase as teenagers or what I affectionately call the late stage teenage rebellion phase as adults. However, some parents are unduly concerned and feel that it is entirely their responsibility to protect their child from all the dangers, challenges, hardships, and disappointments that life may throw up at times. Worry, fear, and anxiety will be their reactions to situations. This then translates into a dismissive attachment style in adulthood where the adult would rather avoid intimacy completely or feel uncomfortable when a relationship becomes too intimate and breaks it off. Strict parents set high standards for their children and reinforce the importance of meeting those expectations. Agreeable so, parents create a little being and vow to be by him at all times, ensuring there isnt a single trouble bothering him. Shannon Lipscomb, assistant professor of human development and family sciences at OSU Cascades, states that a parents ability to regulate themselves and to remain firm, confident and not overreact is a key way they can help their children to modify their behavior (Oregon State University, 2012). However, their approach to said goal can sometimes be misguided and may have serious implications on the childs development and adulthood. Pradeep. (2012). As for the effect of overprotection on the wellbeing of the child, studies have shown that overprotective parenting can lead to risk aversion, a dependency on the parents, a higher risk of psychological disorders, a lack of strong coping mechanisms, and chronic anxietywhich intuitively, makes a lot of sense. (2012). Oregon State University. Overprotective mother syndrome is another such term that depicts mothers who become hyper-anxious about their child's well-being. Children raised with overprotective parenting tend to have less competent social skills . Let us look at how an overprotective parenting style affects the child as he moves into adolescence and then into adulthood. This dynamic can lead to mental health issues related to depression, anxiety, codependent relationships, disordered eating, and substance use. They generally assume the role of pursuer because they learned that the only way to receive affection from their parents was when they were acting desperate or had extremely negative reactions to things. This includes any activity that will, essentially, compensate for the lack of freedom or personal autonomy they experienced as they grew up. Because self-esteem is highly dependent on assessing how others regard us, the overprotectiveness exhibited by parents implies to the child they arent capable, competent or good enough to manage life by themselves. What are the causes and effects of overprotective parenting? Our approach to parenting is likely to be influenced by that used by our parents. The parents' constantly high stress levels remind their children of danger and cause anxiety in them 8 . Furthermore, the child will not learn to take risks or adapt to new situations. Pearson. If you always keep code-protection running on your child, he will become a nervous, timid adult who can never face fears and step over them. All for free. Hampering happiness - Where there is a desire to set everything perfectly, there is a huge chance of doing often accomplishing the opposite. Low attention span. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. The world has changed as social distancing, online classes, and work from home are the new norm. Read on to know how an overprotective parenting style can adversely affect your child as he grows up. They need to make friends, take part in activities and even find love on their own to experience the true meaning . The most significant disadvantage is that it impairs a child's growth and development into well-adjusted, self-sufficient individuals. They learned that their needs will not be met and that close relationships lead to hurt they cant process and so they learned to be emotionally distant and simply avoid intimacy at all costs. Despite the varying circumstances, there are a few signs of overprotective parenting. Another example would be the parents who make weekly or daily appointments to see their sons teacher in order to protect him from any risk of academic failure, or to constantly mediate his friendship conflicts. While parents may feel that stress or confusion are always bad, studies show that creating learning situations which involve challenging and confusing problem-solving and critical thinking scenarios leads to better academic performance and transfer to new learning situations. Despite these points of view, it is possible for parents to find a healthy balance. In the broader context, if you are a parent who overprotects your child, you are going to spend more time with your child, or they will be with you (at home, etc.) Such parents turn overprotective and tend to constantly monitor their child and take control of his life. unhealthy food habits or inappropriate language), or even the risk of sexual abuse. How To Help Your Teenager Cope With The Changed World, 6 'Adult' Issues You Must Discuss With Your Child, 21-Day Nutrition Challenge to Transform your Health, Frequently Asked Questions from our Parent Community, Why you must track your child's developmental milestones. What is so horrible about keeping them safe? The problems and consequences appear when the child has grown up and becomes an adult. Children with overprotective parents are more likely to have clinical childhood anxiety and are also more likely to struggle more when they're adults. Overprotectiveness conveys to the child a sense that the world is dangerous. 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